Over the past couple of weeks I have been talking about beliefs in my blogs. Now I’d like to move on to some practical applications oriented around the populate topic of ‘weight management’. I’m going to present and discuss some common ideas, themes and beliefs that form part of my approach to weight management. I have found that this is an area where it is common to find underlying beliefs and/or habits that just don’t stand up to scrutiny.
The Empty Plate Directive
This is the rule of habit that says ‘You must finish all the food on your plate’. You might blame childhood upbringing or perhaps it is a need to be tidy – leaving your plate empty with knife and fork neatly together. Perhaps it is the admirable wish not to waste food that is behind this.
Whatever the habit is – one of the best ways to break a habit is to replace it with a contrary habit – one that defeats or prevents the original habit.
So if you are an plate emptier – make it a rule to leave at least a small piece of food on your place at the end of each meal. Create a habit of never finishing.
If you dislike waste – wait until the point at which your hunger is starting to feel satisfied; you may have to slow down your eating pace and pay more attention to do this. Then put the remainder of your meal in the fridge. Wait at least 20 minutes and then if you are still hungry, eat it. Then you will be eating it because you are hungry and not just because it’s there.
The Myth of Scarcity
This is where we have an unnaturally increased desire for some food by the restriction of its availability. This is a well know sales technique where something is offered and your desire for it is deliberately stoked by the item’s limited availability. ‘Last few in stock’, ‘Special Edition’, etc.).
Say you walk into your local shop, thinking about buying your favourite snack, perhaps a bar of chocolate. You are already imagining tearing off its wrapping, biting into it and savouring the tastes, textures and sensations. You check out the shelf where the shop keeps them and notice it is neatly stacked full with bars.
Now change that scenario; you walk into the shop, it is quite busy, lots of people buying. You check out the shelf where the shop keeps your favourite snack and notice to your horror that there is only one left.
Can you see how the second situation is likely to artificially increase your desire to buy. Even if that last item is still on the shelf because it is damaged in some way you may still lunge and grab it with sideways warning glares at your fellow shoppers.
We can inadvertently trigger this psychological effect by self-restriction. This often takes the form of not allowing certain foods in the house ‘because I’d eat them’. That sounds sensible when you say it to yourself in your head but the nonsense is revealed as soon as you write it down!
Here is an experiment; If there is a certain treat or reward food that you would like to diminish your desire for – buy a box of them and notice what happens to your desire for that item over time. Now for some people the ease of availability is just going to mean that they eat the box; however if your need for that thing is largely driven by it being a special, rare, treat you can perhaps imagine the effect of it being just there, commonplace and available whenever you like.
Eating without Noticing
I was a prime example of this. I can recall an occasion where a friend had cooked a meal for me and we ate and chatted. At the end of the meal I was asked if I had enjoyed it – to which of course I politely answered yes. The truth was – I had no idea, I hadn’t noticed how the food tasted, its texture, temperature. I had sat, chatting, whilst unconsciously shovelling food into my mouth, chewing and swallowing. I only noticed when the plate was empty.
This is very common in today’s society – we sit in front of the TV, over a newspaper, on our iPad or computer and eat with little awareness.
The problem with this is twofold – firstly we don’t get to fully enjoy our food. It amazing me how many people who regard themselves as ‘someone who likes their food’ can completely ignore it.
Secondly we don’t notice when we are full and thus have the opportunity to stop and avoid overeating.
Here are a couple of ideas; firstly – if you are going to eat unconsciously, without awareness – why not make it something healthy and nutritious? You aren’t going to notice it so what does it matter if it isn’t high in sugars, fats or those other naughty things that seem to be a prime ingredient of people’s favourite foods.
Secondly – if you are treating yourself food-wise then just eat. Get the full benefit of the eating experience savouring every mouthful. Notice flavours and textures, enjoy and appreciate. Turn off the TV, put down the paper, book or iPad.
You Know Enough
I don’t think there is any other area of therapy where there is such a generally high awareness of what is needed to deal with the issue. We have been educated about calories, fats, sugars and salt.
Indeed hypnotherapists such as myself are not usually qualified to offer advice on nutrition and exercise – so you might wonder why so many people come to us for help with their weight management.
This is because the problem isn’t about knowledge – you already know enough to make a difference. The problem is that people aren’t using what they already know.
As the late, great Jim Rohn said ‘failure is nothing more than a few errors in judgment repeated every day’
Should vs Can
When confronted with this choice – do you buy the chocolate bar or the apple? That little inner voice would possibly say something like ‘I’d like the chocolate bar but I SHOULD have an apple’. We know the apple is better but…’
I am going to resort to a little bit of linguistic jargon here - the word ‘should’ is what we call a modal operator of necessity – meaning there is some compulsion to do it. We are making a half-hearted attempt to bully ourselves whilst at the same time subtlety ruling out the possibility of buying the apple – as the word ‘should’ usually implies that we aren’t going to!
Here is a simple linguistic trick; simply replace the modal operator of necessity ‘Should, must, have to’ with a modal operator of possibility (could, can, can do). So you think ‘I can have an apple’.
If you really want to pile on the self-influence – vividly imagine the apple, I’d go for a Pink Lady personally. sweet and juicy but not too much so, a nice crunch without being overly hard. I can imagine the texture and the taste.
Finally
As a hypnotherapist my tool is language and my raw materials are your beliefs, thoughts and imagination. Using the power of hypnosis you can change your patterns of thinking, feelings and thus how you behave – yet sometimes you can do all this with just a new idea or perspective.